For years I've been wondering why some patients ask for my help with diet and exercise and never follow through. I assumed it was lack of discipline, no motivation, lack of time etc. But then it dawned on me. They were afraid of failing. If there is one thing people have in common, it’s this. It is their ultimate nightmare. I began addressing those patients asking them why they didn't follow my directions. At least 70 percent were honest enough to admit they did not want to fail, AGAIN!
When you are afraid to fail, you set yourself up for failure. Yes! You stop taking risks and always stay in your comfort zone. You will consider what can go wrong in every situation and you will fail at life. Why does this happen? Well failure hurts because we put an emotion to it. So, you begin to avoid doing anything. But here is the thing. No matter how hard you try to prepare, no matter how many precautions you may take, at some point you will fail. What happens to those who try to avoid failure? They lose all their motivation. They stop striving to reach any of their goals. They believe that all their hard work was a waste of time. That it was all for nothing. Life becomes boring and mundane.
Fear of failure can be articulated in different ways. I'm not good at that, I'm not talented, I've tried that before and it didn't work out, I wasn't born talented. This is why I probably wasn't aware of the failure problem. Who makes the rules on what success really is? How do you measure success? Some things can be clearly measured in success like winning a sports event or game on your computer. But not everything in life can be measured when it comes to success. An example is passing or failing a test. You may have passed, success, but with the lowest passing grade. Or paying all your bills at the end of the month, awesome! But now you don't have extra to buy those 200-dollar pair of shoes. So, if successes aren't so clear cut, maybe failures aren't either.
Failures, in my book, are just stepping stones to success. It takes courage to start something new. It's an uncomfortable action that everyone hates to go through. Being uncomfortable is a sign of growth and you need to fail at things to get better at them. Many inventors have endured EPIC failures, but kept going one more time, a true blessing for us. Many entrepreneurs have failed before reaching the pinnacle of their success. It’s what needs to be done, it's part of the recipe for success.
When choosing to start a weight loss or exercise program for the thousandth time, stop and think about why it hasn't worked before. Use your failures as a guide to see what works and what doesn't. Allow some time to reflect and learn from them. You can use this tool for all your goals. Failures are not a bad thing, unless you keep making the same mistake while expecting a change.
I welcome failures in my life. At least I know I'm alive. Life is supposed to be full of experiences. Don't stop growing. We are blessed everyday upon waking up and knowing that we have another day and another chance to make progress toward our goals. So, tell me, "What Have You Failed at Today"?
If you need any guidance on any of your goal setting, just give me a call at my office, 631-979-8508. Keep Motivated, Stay Disciplined and don't forget to LIVLIFE.
Dr. Livia Valle Mother/Chiropractor/Health and Wellness Coach.